Bama Brushstrokes

Bama Brushstrokes:

'via Blog this'

Blogger: User Profile: Lee Wind

Blogger: User Profile: Lee Wind:

'via Blog this'

An answer to those friend requests

Will and I are managing to put the pieces of our lives back together. The Florida trip still haunts him and thinking about all we left behind, and the idea of starting over with virtually nothing is a bit scary. After a two month forage for a place to live on section 8, we finally found something. Unfortunately by this time Will's anxiety levels had peaked to enormous proportions. He managed to get back on his health plan and it has been an endless journey of trips to and from the doctor trying to get a handle on the problem. Moving to another city and county put a strain on the relationship with his parents, but it was necessary since time was running out on the voucher and our nerves just could not handle living with his parents. Things are getting better and there is happiness here. We just don't need the drama and games of the family

Moving to Florida

Will and I after much debate decided to move to Florida. Sharon and Howard had talked of giving him a job working at the doughnut shop and locating a place for us to live. For Will this was an opportunity to put the loss of the Shop behind us and try something new. First of all, the drive down was less than comfortable. The first day we stopped midway and stayed at a hotel, but it was the second day that was the nightmare. The construction slowed down our progress and the route could have been made shorted. Once arriving in Florida the distance to our destination seemed to grow not closer but further away. This was difficult on Will a small town guy never having been that far south of Michigan. The second day we drove over the the mobile home we were suppose to buy. Rocky was good enough to offer to help unload the uhaul. When we entered the home I began to feel closed in. After seeing the breaker box and the old fashion fuses, I was abit discouraged. They say everything happens for a reason. When it came to meeting the owner and making payment, we realized that the money had been left back in the lock box at Sharon's. So during the drive to pick it up Will and I had the time to talk about how we felt about the home and we both felt that it was not only too small, but not at all what we wanted.
So we chose not to take it. Midway driving back to the park to the home, Rocky called saying he needed the key to unlock the uhaul. Think about it, if we had left him the key, he would have unloaded the uhaul and left. We would have to load it back up and take it over to Sharon's. We told both Sharon and Howard that the home would not do. They suggested we stay with them as we began looking for a place. But to show Will some of the sites while we had some free time. The first think he noticed was the traffic congestion and how large the city was. Although he enjoyed seeing the beach and meeting Carolann and Rocky, he was overwhelmed with how much different things were compared to Carson City Michigan. On the third day he had a seizure to which Sharon told him she could not hire him. This did not settle well at all. The whole reason for leaving everything behind and making the trip was to get a fresh start and the job that was waiting. After nearly two weeks the trip was in vain. The biggest problem was we could not afford another uhaul for the drive back. This meant packing the car and leaving the rest behind. Making the selection of what went and what remained behind caused further friction between us. But we packed up and drove back to his mothers home to stay until we could figure out what to do.

an open message to those looking for me

For much of my life I have been considered the black sheep of the family. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I live my own life, not seeking the approval of others. In the past I was always the subject of rumors much of the time untrue. With people like Butch, there was always the games and competition. The rest of you just hung me out to dry as though my feelings did not matter. Take the Massey side of the family. As long as I can remember there was always an unhealthy competition. Whose car was better, newer, or just more expensive. It was always a standard that if they all got together they talked ill about the one who was not present. Telling the truth was always a difficulty within the family. When I came out, I was accepted by some in their presence but earshot away I was just the opposite. The subject of rumors such as being blamed for someone else in the family being gay. All the time that Doug was sick, I was kept from communicating with him or knowing where he lived. In my heart I truly think I could have helped him and that he would still be with us. But it was decided by the family that I was not to be privy to this information. The two most important people in my life are gone now so I have no reason to guard my words. For those who are not happy with what I have to say, too bad. Ask yourselves which side you were on, and did you continue to play the same game as the rest of the family.