an open message to those looking for me

For much of my life I have been considered the black sheep of the family. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I live my own life, not seeking the approval of others. In the past I was always the subject of rumors much of the time untrue. With people like Butch, there was always the games and competition. The rest of you just hung me out to dry as though my feelings did not matter. Take the Massey side of the family. As long as I can remember there was always an unhealthy competition. Whose car was better, newer, or just more expensive. It was always a standard that if they all got together they talked ill about the one who was not present. Telling the truth was always a difficulty within the family. When I came out, I was accepted by some in their presence but earshot away I was just the opposite. The subject of rumors such as being blamed for someone else in the family being gay. All the time that Doug was sick, I was kept from communicating with him or knowing where he lived. In my heart I truly think I could have helped him and that he would still be with us. But it was decided by the family that I was not to be privy to this information. The two most important people in my life are gone now so I have no reason to guard my words. For those who are not happy with what I have to say, too bad. Ask yourselves which side you were on, and did you continue to play the same game as the rest of the family.